I called her yet another time!!

2;00am, 4th of may

I'm getting weak, with each passing day. There is no time for supper, or a walk. All i do is lie like a crippled one, who could just flap his arms to move. I decided not to call her, but i did. Her auto reject made sure that she dint hear it ring. Its two in the morning here and i'm as troubled as a baby, only that it has its parents to care when it cried, i had no one. And yes, i did not cry, life looks to ordinary, and meaningless to me now, like a black and white film, and yes, i wouldn't cry in a sad or horror scene if the print was black and white. Everything seems so calm, just like the day i went on a trek with her, the evenings went quite scary, i was very scared, well the situation was to blame.

After some juice and muffins, we filled our backpacks with supplies, we were to leave for a trek to the Mighty the TRIUND. We took a taxi for the first few miles and walked rest of it. She was fun to be with, not very enthusiastic about the trek but. This was her first trek and we made frequent pauses. We were slow and steady, but that got us into a problem.

2pm, 4th of may

Just got back into senses, got to finish the story. I am very calm and relaxed now. The story, yes:

It was dark, everywhere, we couldn't make it on time. 3 more miles to go, paths were very steep and rocky, i remember stumbling many times, but i was particularly scared for her. I held her hand as close as possible, assuring her that everything will be fine. We were not alone, our guide had a 5% battery left in his phone which thankfully had a torch that kept us guiding, mine and hers discharged.

We were crawling from one rock to another, yes, thats right, crawling. Maybe half miles an hour. Its was so dark that nothing could be seen, not even my hands were visible to me, let alone the steep path. She was clam and steady, i was the weak one, just like today. I was weak and scared. Not because of the wilderness, not because of the darkness, but because with great girlfriend comes great responsibilities. Going to the trek was my idea, i pushed her all the way to triund when she wanted to give up halfway. Had i not been so selfish, this would never happened. I kept crying like a baby, praying that we could safely get back. The rocks and spikes were hurting, i slipped countless times.

The ending was a happy one, sure. After 3 hours in darkness we noticed that there were no more rocks, just gently carved paths. Few minutes later we could even see the lights of dharamkot down the hill. Soon enough, we found a road and then a taxi back to hotel. One thing that keeps me going everytime, is her by my side. No matter what the situation is, and yes we've seen worse. 

I once told her that i don't really want to be with her. One very wise quote said: You might choose not to regret after you do something, but do have the courage to live with it for the rest of your life.

I'm sure things will change, they'll get better, for they can't get any worse.