Time has the power to remedy grave wounds. I was so desperate looking for a time lapse function that would let me fast forward few years of my life, and help me get over her. Its been 345,600seconds since we broke up, i wish days were shorter now.
I made a fake facebook account to sneak into her profile, not really stalking, but recalling those moments with her. I was living those pictures, which i clicked for her, yeah she was the selfie freak.
I remembered once she made me post a picture of me with her in facebook. Long back. When i asked her to do the same, she said she couldn't, after all she had her family and all the cousins in the world who'd be really pissed if she did so. Today i saw many pictures of her, leaning over boys, many. None with me but.NONE.
The best she has done to me in these 10 months was to change me.
I recall the first time i saw her. Then, i was committed with a girl in my college.It was a very casual relationship, and none of us really proposed each other. I was always in the hunt for such relationships with no commitments and most people would say i'm an asshole womanizer. I remember one of my ex calling me a male chauvinist pig on my response to "do you really love me?".
I've always looked terrible, some said it was the charisma that got me laid, some said it was my deep pockets that was responsible.
I noticed her cleavage and i was quick to judge her. I thought she'd be easy to get. A piece of cake.
I talked to her, and took her out. She was very interesting, i was fond of her company. She almost killed my postulate that says hot girls are always dumb. I liked to have her around as a friend too, but i was lured by her beauty. After 2 dates crossed, i invited her over to my place for the night. She agreed to join me after her evening clubbing plans.
I grabbed a few beer bottles and ordered some mc veggies quick. I sat next to her, two sips down, playing guitar for her. She seemed to be having a good time, but i was nervous as hell, trying to figure out what would impress her. Few more hours with her were not exactly very remarkable. I proposed a movie and she agreed. I sat next to her, my arms around her, and the movie. Ahh :)
It was a horror movie which tops the Imdb list, purposely put, so that she gets scared and gives me a tight hug. This is how it works out in movies anyway. But shit, the wifi went off, leaving me in a total despair. How could you do this to me God?
What happened the next moment was something i've been trying really hard to forget. I was lying next to her, when she got really close. We talked and talked and talked until the moment i could feel her breath. She kissed me so softly and gently that it hardly fell anything. I went to the cloud9 rather than seventh heaven, as i liked it wild, always. Soon enough i made my first move,but i was still very bad at unhooking bras.next few mins were my pointless attempts to unhook her, to which she relentlessly laughed. We made out for a while and i finished myself. I din't even care to ask her anything, i was tired and fell asleep very soon.
She woke me up in the morning and she slipped into a tee of mine. She told me she was going to leave, i said okay, stupid enough not to realise that she expected me to drop her. She possibly also expected me to hug her first thing in the morning, make love, talk to her and get her some coffee. Worst i could have done was go back to sleep, which i obviously did. I did not call her back or text her till evening, when i got a call from her telling me that she will need the bra and top she left at my place.
Only if i could change one thing in the past, i'd have made this special for her.
I have my regrets, and i've decided to live with them.
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